8 basic questions to ask your to-be-groom!
Insights from the married-generation to the next-gen taking the BIG leap of faith!
Note: The below list is mostly gender-neutral but is written entirely from a women’s perspective. So I discourage the men to read it unless you can take it constructively. No offense, please!
Life is full of little things that add up for a greater good. If small things happen right, then life will be much more peaceful. I am a strong believer in this.
When we get into a relationship, there are so many things that we see for in a partner, and it largely varies based on each one's opinions. We get so carried away by the bigger picture that we miss to notice the small details.
Below is a curated listicle of that kind of small details we don’t even think of but might make a huge difference. I don't mean to talk about whether the below are right/wrong or good/bad. That purely depends on your perspective. But I am just giving a heads up!
Is it Brush then coffee or vice versa?
If you are surprised why such a basic thing made it to the list, don’t be! There are a lot of people who do the reverse! If you too are the same, then you are already on the ‘match-made-in-heaven’ path. Or, if it just doesn’t matter to you, still good!
But if it does, then think twice! You might end up starting every morning with this argument.
Post-eating action item — leave the plate in the table!
No seriously! This is big. If someone leaves the plate behind after eating, like it was a restaurant, thinking that someone else would pick it up then… think for yourself.
Take the last sip of water.
When taking the last sip of water from a bottle or see that the bubble top is empty, in either case, if the followup action is refilling it, then that's a positive sign. If not, probably the attitude might be ‘who cares’.
Help or Our job?
House and its chores is not a women thing. There are two types of people who understand this. Type 1 — One who takes responsibility for those chores, Type 2 — One who thinks that they need to help the spouse. (Yes there is a 3rd category who does neither and lets not even talk about them!)
While the former should be the attitude, the latter is still a red flag. It's like you are responsible for everything, but you are privileged to have someone who will help you with things! How blessed!
But ya, guess we are still in the ‘help’ era and not yet fully transitioned to the other. Let’s hope we get there sooner or later.
The Attitude — Insensitive!
Not being insensitive is quite important. The threshold of withstanding insensitiveness might vary largely from person to person, so it's up to you to decide. Here are a few things that are above my personal threshold, but sure most of you might be able to relate
- I hate it someone leaves their footwear on top of mine. Sounds silly? But I hate it. Many would have faced this while leaving your footwear outside the temples and cursed the person on the sight of seeing it. But even in the house, I just can't stand it.
- Should know to closes the door silently, without disturbing others. Yes silence, please!
- Be mindful of lights and fans all around the house. The trigger should not just be in turning it now, but also be mindful about turning it off. (I hope my mom does not read this, ‘cause I have been there on the insensitive side :P)
- Should close a tap properly. Yes, there are people who don't do it right and it really breaks my heart to see water dripping. Or even leaving the tap open for the entire duration of brushing! Please!
I am sure all this will be sounding so so primitive. But yes, it is and these are the ones that add on to become bigger.
Amma, Amma, Amma types — just run!
All of us love our parents, at least most of us. I don't mean to tell that anyone should not live with them or take care of them. But if the person is too much the ‘Amma’ type, just run! I don't think, this needs any further explanation. C’mon, we need independent people.
The Newsaholic!
Everyone likes intellectual people, who does not. But if your better half is a newsaholic and the only channel running at home, all the time, is news channels, then not sure. If you too are the newsaholic types, then it's PERFECT! If not, then most of your home time will be spent on the remote fights.
‘Wet towel on bed’ scenes
This is a scene I don't want to see for sure and might be the same with many of you too. Please, I know the bed is too comfortable to drop anything on that, but spare the wet towel.
Yeah! You can keep going on and on. The goal is not finding ‘THE PERFECT’ spouse. They definitely don't exist. But at least being wary about these small things could save relationships. All of us want to grow old with the love of our life, right!
As I said before, this is not a rule book. If both of you fall in the same category then yes, you found the man! But if not, and all these points bring a ‘Boy! Who does that!’ moment in mind, then yes think twice!
But also, don't go and ask your to-be-groom this question straight on their face!
Boy: ‘I Love you!’
Girl: ‘Do you brush before drinking coffee or drink coffee and then brush’
Boy: ‘Eh!’
Nope, it does not work that way. Find subtle ways to get these answered and decide for yourself! Yes, no problem, you can save your thanks for later! No, you don't have to send me a pack of ‘Lindt’ chocolates. I don't take gifts :D
